Today is a commercially driven day, rightly or wrongly, but it is also a day for pause. It is nice to celebrate the work of our mothers and also take time to look at ourselves as mothers.
I think I am getting the hang of being a mother. Trying to untangle the vines and challenges of parenthood is a bit of a puzzle but taken in small steps seems to be working out ok. Being a full on working mother adds a whole new dimension to motherhood that takes a little extra effort. You have to try harder to be better to ensure your child gets what they need even if you are out of the house for 10 hours a day. Getting to the school to meet the teacher, never making on a school trip, never knowing what your child's friends look like, how he learns to swim or play the piano are the challenges facing full time working mothers. Let's not even talk about the things you never get to do for yourself. However, as part of the family package we all have to do our bit and it is what it is.
While blow drying my hair this morning and looking myself in the eye I admitted to myself that although I am an ok mother to my son, I haven't been a very good stepmother to my step daughter this year. I finally admitted that I haven't quite forgiven her for not coming home this Christmas. And the thing is that it was not that she wasn't here, but that I want a better life for her than I think she is having and I can't do anything about that. And it really isn't any of my business as she is not in mortal danger or appears unhappy...then it would be my business...but it isn't really. No need for any of the readers of this blog to judge me, I can do that for myself.
I think it is easier to forgive your own children but someone elses, who even though you love, you haven't brought up takes a bit more effort. It is hard being a step parent..hats off to anyone who manages that well. It is sometimes easier to stop trying so hard. Here's to me getting my shit together and getting back on the step mother train.
I think I am getting the hang of being a mother. Trying to untangle the vines and challenges of parenthood is a bit of a puzzle but taken in small steps seems to be working out ok. Being a full on working mother adds a whole new dimension to motherhood that takes a little extra effort. You have to try harder to be better to ensure your child gets what they need even if you are out of the house for 10 hours a day. Getting to the school to meet the teacher, never making on a school trip, never knowing what your child's friends look like, how he learns to swim or play the piano are the challenges facing full time working mothers. Let's not even talk about the things you never get to do for yourself. However, as part of the family package we all have to do our bit and it is what it is.
While blow drying my hair this morning and looking myself in the eye I admitted to myself that although I am an ok mother to my son, I haven't been a very good stepmother to my step daughter this year. I finally admitted that I haven't quite forgiven her for not coming home this Christmas. And the thing is that it was not that she wasn't here, but that I want a better life for her than I think she is having and I can't do anything about that. And it really isn't any of my business as she is not in mortal danger or appears unhappy...then it would be my business...but it isn't really. No need for any of the readers of this blog to judge me, I can do that for myself. 
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